Labels

Photo by Markus Spiske

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

For awhile now, I have decided that I am not a very big fan of labels. Maybe it was because I was raised feeling a weight and responsibility to “do what is right” and “be a good example”. Something that I have learned the hard way since that time, is that just because people know how to do and say “good” things, it doesn’t make their intentions good.

You see, I am a person that likes people to believe me when I say something. I am one that has always worked to say what I mean and mean what I say. I want people to believe me when I try to explain to them, the best way I know how, who I am, so they can understand me and hopefully accept me for who I am. I thought everyone else had this desire and intention as well.

I fostered toxic relationship after toxic relationship because I was determined to believe a person when they told me who they were. I have since learned that it is best to take things slowly, so a person can show me that their words and actions are in sync with each other. What is the saying, “action talks and bullshit walks”? I have found this to be true in my experience.

Letting Go Of Labels

I chose the song ‘Overshare’ by Kelsea Ballerini, because I just felt the need to explain and justify myself to anyone and everyone who questioned me about something. I searched for labels so others could understand me better, and when they were doling out judgments and opinions on me and my family, I felt the need to answer their comments and explain myself or my family. By giving so much information to other people, I was giving them a say and opinion about my life without even realizing it. I would go home and be bothered by the things they would say; what a waste of time and energy.

I have found that the problem with this approach, is that choosing sides and picking labels is a pointless practice. When I identify with a label to help a person understand me better, this does no good, because they are looking through their own lens that has shaped them in their life. Therefore, that label is not going to mean the same thing to them as it does to me. Another thing that I have realized, is that as I move along on my path, I am changing all the time. What I once found helpful and true for me sometimes changes. There are teachings and practices that served me very well at one time, but, as time goes by, I no longer resonate with them.

Choose Love Whenever You Can

Now when people ask me to pick a side or a label, I more often than not say that I am just me, and I do my best to choose love. I have done many things in my life that have made a wonderful difference in the world, and will continue to do that as I live my life. Ultimately, what I know with every piece of my being, is that my only mission and goal in living this life is to choose love in every moment of my life. So now the only label I seek to identify with is “Love”.

A Tip That Has Helped Me:

I have worked hard to stop giving my opinions and advice when speaking with others because I don’t like when others do that to me. Now when someone offers their judgments and opinions about me or my children, I do my best to just remind myself as they are speaking that I don’t owe them an explanation or an answer. This is still a work in progress for me, but I keep practicing.

I hope that you can look inside yourself and see the wonderful and amazing creation that you are, and know that you have already made a wonderful impact on the world just by being You. You are important! You are Loved!